Why? To focus on praying during Lent and to clear my mind before my first confession as an Orthodox Christian.
How Long? Until Pascha (Easter) or longer if I see fit. Ultimately, I would like to update family and friend through our blog instead of seeing all the junk on FB and IG. Share2wins and babymama drama is not my idea of enlightenment. However, I do love good articles on parenting and Christianity and an occasional funny e-card that's not vulgar. Maybe after Lent a good housecleaning of the friends list is in order.
What I hope to gain?
Extra time spent with Phillip and Titus and more importantly a clear mind before my first confession. Making sure that I leave nothing out and that I'm going into this whole heatedly and not halfway. Orthodoxy is a way of life, not something that happens on a Sunday morning. It's a closer walk of faith than I have ever been on. Not saying that I've never had an emotional relationship with our Saviour. This is much deeper than that. It's not about emotions or how I feel at all actually. It's about completely serving Christ in my everyday life. Not what he can do for me but what I can do for him.
I was introduced to Orthodoxy 6 years ago when I met Phillip. It was so foreign to me and I said somethings that I wish I had not, knowing what they mean now. Over time, I closed my eyes and opened my heart to a deeper truth. It's far more scary on the outside than it really is on the inside. And what I'm saying is, don't judge a book by its cover. I'm delving into something I would have never pictured myself being a part of 6 years ago. It wasn't until about 3 years ago that I truly understood what being orthodox meant. It wasn't until I became pregnant with Titus that I couldn't picture myself going back to where I was. I knew where I was supposed to be and what kind of mother I was going to be. I couldn't go back now if I wanted to because I know in my heart that this is the Church a child should be raised in. Nothing but the truth. So I should join my family in partaking of the holy sacraments of our Lord. That's how it all started.
I'm not sure of the exact date that I realized I was on the right path. After the initial shock, it slowly crept up on me. It did take a few good years for me to be comfortable with participating in the services. It was Greek to me, no pun intended. I am so glad God revealed himself to me in way that is so very humbling. He knocked me to my knees and that's just what I needed to see the Light.
I hope to use this time before the celebration of his resurrection to focus my time and energy on him.
-Nikki
